utterly digusting and disappointing behaviour upon reflection.
but please have some faith in me, im innocent, and am not that cheap either.
i swear to god, trust me.



4 done, 5 pending, more to come, hopefully.

i just need a good long sleep to forget everything.
tmr will be a better day.


-johnathan, thanks so much for your help. you are one of a kind

some people just know how to act
and these people are usually full of big talk
and when they dont put words into action
these are just lies
and why they lie
you are deceived.

sometimes when you pretend to offer help, please use the word u'll TRY instead of u will surely help.
sometimes when you pretend to be nice, try as u might, but pls dont give false hopes.
sometimes what we call friends arent friends at all, things happen eventually to expose them.

it took me 21 years to realise these.
how smart (:

please be ok.
you have to be ok.
everything's gonna be alright.
look around and u'll know there are many who cares.
you are not alone.
i need to see that smile again.
wheres the familiar glitter in your eyes.
you will be back, i know you will.
its just a matter of time.

Imagine fighting a war alone, isn't it a losing battle?
No backups, no support, no encouragement, no actions, only cheap talks.
Talk is cheap, talk is easy, everyone can talk, its your actions that shows it all.
Show some sincerity at the very fucking least.
I tend to trust people too much, i usually believe in what they say.
They prove me dumb.
Looks like im all alone in this war.
But its ok, i'll go on and fight all the way.


:]




Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further
when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful
than to let your feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and
feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if
you let me walk with you by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on.




wheres mine? as usual, certain things doesnt change.
the more u give the more u get? i think thats crap now.

Sun night was simply disastrous, and not to mention, it was utterly

embarrassing.

life is a roller coaster. dont be afraid to take a ride.
just scream on top of your lungs and everything will be alright.

i was selfish and i didn realised that until now.
i should've known to what extend my commitment would be like from the start.
i do not want to be so self centered and selfish anymore, because love shouldnt be that way.
there's a need for a cruel one or else you'll continue to suffer in slience, and u deserve better.
im sorry for these, and thats all i can say right now because im simply disgusted with myself.
sorry, and i mean it.

its miraculous how things go your way sometimes?
god gave what i wanted so much to me, even he knows that my main priority is to reach out to the ppl who needs my help. i'll cherish this and finish the final hurdle and be somebody.

If you just walked away
What could i really say?
Would it matter anyway?
it wouldn't change how you feel.

I am the mess you chose
the closet you cannot close
the devil in you i suppose
cuz the wounds never heal.

But everything changes if i could
turn back the years if you could
learn to forgive me then i could
learn to feel.

Sometimes the things i say
in moments of dissaray
succombing to the games we play
to make sure that it's real.

But everything changes if i could
turn back the years if you could
learn to forgive me then i could
learn to feel.

when it's just me and you
who knows what we could do
if we can jsut make it through
the toughest part of the day

But everything changes if i could
turn back the years if you could
learn to forgive me then i could
learn how to feel and we could
stay here together and we could
conquer the world if we could
say that forever is more than just
a word.

If you just walked away
What could i really say?
Would it matter anyway?
it wouldn't change how you feel.

OH MY TIAN. ATTN SEEKER

keep the faith
believe in god
it'll come back
don't give up.

FUCK*** HELL


My skin is getting worse, gonna get depression if i continue to see a  fucked up face in d mirror every morning, afternoon, night.
i've alrdy tried and taken most of the medication in the world, and nth seems to work.
Can anyone help me?
God...... my life is alrdy fucked up as it is, pls spare me.


我一直以来都守护在你身边
不懂你如何看得见
只好静静靠在一边

你的笑容能让我开心一整天
只要一天没和你见面
我的心情不会好一点

时间已经不多
我还有话很想说
隐藏在我心里不懂如何开口

我们很快就要走
回忆也不算太多
简简单单希望你会懂

不能在一起也没关系
至少你懂我的心 会在想你
那些回忆会永远保持甜蜜

不管未来你会在哪里
我都不会忘记 我爱你
你是我微笑的原因

July, Aug, Sep, Oct, Nov, Dec awaits. Time really flies, we're alrdy in the middle of 2009.
Come December come, i cant wait. It hasnt been a really good yr for me.
Its been one yr plus that my complexion has been fucked up, and it has worsened, just when i thought everything had gone down.
Fuck you pimples. I swear i can nvr hate anything as much as achne and pimples. Damnit. Im super vexed and flustered.
Please go away, stop haunting me, u're ruining my dreams and screwing my future. I dont think i deserve this as i'm a nice guy.
Life is so unfair, life is never fair, life has never been fair to me at all.

Whine lucas whine :(

i dont think anyone will understand.

Have u ever regretted making the wrong move or making the same mistakes time and again throughout your life?
Have u ever wondered how would things had been if u chose the correct path instead of takin the one tt leads u to doom?
Have u ever imagined what would happened if u did this instead of that?
Have u ever pondered how u can repent or salvage the situation if given the chance to do it?
 

Everyone has their own secrets.

Whats yours?

Xavi, Iniesta, Messi, Eto tore the hearts of all man utd fans. What a shame that the latter couldnt capitalise on the domination they had in the first 10 mins. Poor Ronaldo and man utd   :(


ps: What a crazy week i had. Full of shit.


psps: Im stil counting down everyday, when will i get over this?


pspsps: I miss Vivi!

The good ole times,
oh the good ole times.

i always think back in reminiscence,
wishing it would all come back.

too bad,
nothing lasts forever.

everyone moves on,
life still goes on.




ps: u nvr fail to make me smile. thank you

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Baby won't you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part




Title: Dreaming with a broken heart
By: John Mayor

can we go back?